The Family
Basic Christian Doctrines 22
1.
God Created Man as Male and Female.
God created Adam as the first man. Out of one of his ribs, God created Eve, the first woman. There are thus only two sexes. It is unnatural and ungodly to suggest a third or fourth, such as in homosexuality (a female man) and lesbianism (a male woman). And so God abominates homosexuality. God also created man and woman to be different in several ways, reflecting the roles God has for each. Men are stronger, more aggressive, more analytical, brave, able to lead. Women are weaker, more protective, more intuitive and instinctive, able to nurture and follow.
2.
Adam and Eve Were the First Two Humans.
Gen. 1
and 2 clearly teaches that Adam and Eve were individuals, not mere half-animal
Neanderthals. Nor was there any kind of “pre-Adamic race”, as suggested by
weird esoteric theories, as in some extreme forms of the Gap Theory. The first
man was every bit as human as any man today. This is more important than some
Evangelicals think. Deny it, and the arguments in Romans 5, 1 Cor. 15 and I
Tim. 2 collapse.
3.
All Men are Descended from Adam.
Adam was the
father of all mankind. All were “in Adam” (I Cor. 15:22). Even Eve was taken
out of him. This is denied by Evolutionists, who say we came from all sorts of
half-humans in several places. Acts 17:26 says God made all peoples everywhere
from this one man, and we share the same life-giving essence of blood. We are
all related to each other. Though there are differences of race, language,
intellect, customs and history, we all have more in common than we have in
distinction. We were in Adam physically, in that his seed produced and
reproduced descendents. Adam was also our “federal head”, or representative in
Eden. When he fell, we fell. We inherit his human nature and also his sin.
4.
God Ordained Marriage.
God created Eve
out of Adam in order to re-unite them in the special bond of matrimony. It was
God's idea, not Adam's. Gen. 2 shows the main reasons for marriage then and
now: companionship, to reproduce the race, to serve God better in the work God
gives, and to serve as an example of spiritual relationship with God. Marriage
is a Creation ordinance, and so is applicable to all men, not just Christians.
God's rule is 1 man, 1 woman, 1 lifetime. God does not permit polygamy, incest,
homosexuality, and other such things. Though most people do marry, it is
somewhat optional. God wrote the basic laws for marriage in Nature, and more
explicitly in the Bible. It works when done right, fails when done wrong.
5.
God Commands Husbands to Love Their Wives.
There are several important rules and principles that God has laid down for
marriage. One is that couples must follow God's Word. Another is that they are to
serve and love Him first and foremost. God has also given specific rules for
husbands and wives relative to their roles. They are all summed up in 1 rule for each.
The main duty of a husband is, “Husbands, love your wives” (Eph. 5:25, Col.
3:19, 1 Pet. 3:7). He is to sacrifice his wants for her needs, even willing to
die for her as Christ died for the Church. He is to protect and provide for
her, lead her, be gentle and courageous, and cherish and nourish her. He should
imitate Christ in His dealings with the Church, not imitate the views of the
world. God has fitted men for this and it is their prime duty.
6.
God Commands Wives to Submit to Their Husbands.
The
major duty of wives is: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”
(Eph. 5:22, Col. 3:18, 1 Pet. 3:1-6). She is to obey him, respect him, follow
his lead. She must submit to his authority when he exercises it within the
God-ordained circle, and of course, must not follow him if he goes outside that
boundary. Marriage is thus a hierarchy of rank, not an egalitarian democracy.
The wife is also to learn from him in silence (I Tim. 2:11-12). All this is very
unpopular and quite politically incorrect, but it is right and true. Indeed, the
success of a marriage can be gauged by the extent to which both husbands and
wives do their respective duties. All breakdowns in marriage can be traced back
to either or both not doing what God tells them to do.
7.
God Commands Couples to Have Children.
Gen. 1 and 2
state very explicitly that one of the major reasons for marriage is the
reproduction of mankind. God forbids us to do it outside of marriage. Children
are a blessing from the Lord. Procreation is not an optional luxury left to the
whims of husbands and wives. Of course, God sometimes providentially withholds
children from some couples for a variety of reasons (that they may serve him in
a different way, for example). But the Bible does not permit us to make the
choice by means of birth control and the like. On the other hand, God does
allow adoption, especially for couples who cannot have children by themselves.
Finally, parents are to raise their children by the Bible, in the instruction
of the Lord, with love and firmness, with appropriate discipline and patience.
8.
God Commands Children to Obey Their Parents.
The
major duty of children is to obey their parents. They do not have authority
with or over their parents. God does not allow voting, “kids' rights”, or other
such Humanistic ungodliness. Parents must teach, children must learn. Parents
must chasten, children must submit to it. Children are under their parents'
authority until they marry and leave the home, or until both parents die. If
parents raise their children correctly, they instill in them lifelong habits
and character, though they cannot guarantee that they will be saved. If the
children grow up wild and wicked, they have to answer to God - and so do the
parents.
9. God
Allows for Divorce for Two Grounds.
God ordained marriage, but He also permits divorce - but for only two grounds. He does not permit it for mental cruelty, incompatibility, wife-beating, failure to financially support a family, drunkenness, lost affections, irreconcilable differences, etc. The first ground is an unrepentant act of adultery (Matt. 5:32, 19:9). It must be an act, not merely a thought, a look, a word, etc. It would include homosexuality. It must also be unrepented of, for if the guilty party repents, the other must forgive (Eph. 4:32). Either party may divorce the other. The second ground is in I Cor. 7:12-15. If a non-Christian spouse deserts and divorces a Christian, the Christian need not resist. It does not appear that the Christian can initiate this divorce, and this desertion ground does not apply except in a Christian/non-Christian marriage. A Biblical divorce frees the innocent party to remarry.
10.
The Family is to Serve God.
Let us
not forget the main reason God ordained marriage and children: to serve God.
God gave Eve to Adam to help him serve in the Garden. Families must serve God
together in church and in the specific ministry that God has called them to.
They form a team which can generally serve God better than they could as
individuals. God blesses and uses families who follow His directions. And Satan
hates and wishes to destroy them.